Learning the Hard Way Read online

  “Harder. More.” Troy looked down at his app.

  He noticed that the vibrations had ended. He started them up again and ramped up the speed.

  Ava arched her back. As though compelled to do it, she gave her clit repeated smacks over her panties. Her body writhed over the bed.

  Seeing her boiled his blood. He wanted nothing more than to join her, make her really experience what it would feel like to get flogged. If nothing else, he could give her a happy ending.

  “I would work on you for hours,” he said. “Until I would finally let you come.” He watched the sweat roll down the side of her face. “Come, Ava.”

  She released a long moan that made his dick so hard it hurt. He needed relief quick. Like Ava, he would have to be at the mercy of his hand.

  After relaxing her body against the bed, she pulled off the panties. As much as he wanted to admonish her for removing the garment without permission, damn if he didn’t enjoy looking at her naked body.

  Ava faced the camera again. “So, Mr. Whitten, aren’t you going to get undressed?”

  He started to answer but stopped. There were two weeks left in the semester. Even though the first few weeks went by quickly, he needed more. He wanted more from Ava.

  “Before I do that—”

  “Wait, you don’t want to get into a little phone sex? Did I call the wrong number?” She giggled.

  He smiled. “You’ve got the right man. I want to talk about you. Have you heard anything else about the department head position? How’s that going?”

  She sat up against the pillows on her bed. “Um, okay. I really hadn’t thought about it lately.” Her voice became soft, almost tentative.

  “Hadn’t thought about it? I thought that’s all you wanted. You’d be perfect for the job.” With her compassion and thoroughness, Ava would straighten out that department. Plus the bigger office would be great to play inside.

  “I thought it was what I wanted, too. Now I’m not so sure. Why are you asking me this now? You have me naked.” Her voice dipped down into a sexy octave. “You have me at your mercy.”

  As much as Troy enjoyed their phone sex antics, much more than their e-mail tryst, he’d had enough.

  “I’m wearing thin, Ava.” He sighed. “I know I promised I would be patient, but I’m going crazy. I want to see you outside of the classroom. I want more than just phone calls and e-mails. I need to touch your skin and smell you again. I want us to stay in bed and talk about our days, our passions, what makes us happy. And I want to spank you. I need to put my hands on you. Telling you what to do over the phone is not enough for me. Seeing you come is torturing me. I need to feel you. Don’t you want that?”

  A long pause lingered before Ava said, “More than you can imagine. I want to know why you’ve decided to go back to school after so many years. You kidded that you did it to pick up women. Is that the truth?”

  He released a sigh of relief. “No. I want to become a teacher.”

  A pause lingered before she asked, “Really?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m surprised.”

  “That’s because you don’t know me.” Troy got comfortable on his bed. “I enjoy sharing knowledge and teaching. I love kids. I get the love from my grandmother. She taught for years in an elementary school. She loved teaching so much that she signed up to teach summer school and she rarely took vacations.”

  He smiled to himself thinking about his maternal grandmother. He recalled the summers she would take him as a child to the library during their once-a-month used book sale to pick up education books for herself and children’s books for him and any child she would encounter.

  Her love translated to him so much, that when she passed away a year ago he decided to follow his heart instead of chasing the almighty dollar. He needed to be happy and follow his bliss.

  “I love the idea of changing a child’s life for the better and helping influence them. Isn’t that the reason you decided to become a professor?” He waited for her answer.

  “You could be giving me a line.” Ava didn’t hide the skepticism from her tone. She also didn’t hide her doubt with her body language. She covered herself with her comforter as she continued to talk to him.

  Damn. He felt her pulling away. He had to convince her he had better intentions.

  “I could. But what man trying to get into a woman’s pants admits that he wants to be a teacher because he was influenced by his grandmother? Not really a macho admission.”

  “Maybe you’re not going for macho. Maybe you’re doing the sensitive guy thing.”

  Troy took a deep breath. “I’m not trying to play you.” He hoped she caught the sincerity in his voice. “Let’s stop playing these games and get together already. We’re both attracted to each other. We have great conversations. We can keep our relationship quiet until the semester is over. Then after that, we can carry on like adults.”

  “It all sounds great, but—”

  “But what?”

  She hesitated before responding. “Your job.”

  “My job?” He balled his hand into a fist. “I told you before that I’m not an escort. Don’t you believe me?”

  “Richard told me he cared about me and only me, and look what he did. Anson said he wanted a serious relationship but didn’t want to go to that next level. I don’t have a great track record with men.”

  “I’m not like other men. I’m for damn sure not like Richard or Dean Vartinucci, either. I’m better. I would never hurt a woman emotionally. I don’t understand how anyone could.”

  “It all sounds great.” Her voice cracked and it crushed Troy’s heart. “But I’ve heard some slick lines like that before. I knew continuing after our date was a mistake. I’m sorry, Troy. I just can’t.” She disconnected the call.

  The screen went black. Troy stared at it like her image would populate on it again, like she would show herself like she’d done only moments before. She was the first woman he had allowed in his heart after Meredith. The hell he would go down without a fight.

  Chapter Eleven

  Each day after that painful call to Troy felt like another piece of Ava’s heart had been chipped away. What could she do? Even though she ached to be with him, she knew better.

  No more students, no more co-workers, and definitely no more players. Although Troy professed his innocence in his apparent career, how could she believe him? This was the same man who had promised to keep their date a secret the night of the party. If she trusted him then, why couldn’t she trust him now? After everything that had happened, why hadn’t he hung her out to dry and told the university department head about their encounter? Could he be trusted?

  It didn’t matter. Now that it was the final day of class, Ava could get Troy out of her life. But was that what she really wanted? Hell, for that matter, did she really want the department head position?

  Change scared her spitless, changes in her personal life and her career. The woman who once had control over everything in her life now felt so helpless.

  No time to think about that now. Ava glanced at her watch, then looked at the chair that Troy normally occupied. His chair was empty and the exam was about to start in one minute. Had he given up on her since she gave up on him? Thinking about that possibility tightened her throat as she handed out test booklets. By the time she got to the furthest row where Troy normally sat, he rushed through the door and took his seat.

  “You almost missed the exam, Mr. Whitten.” She maintained eye contact with him. “After all of your hard work this semester, I would hate to see you blow it all away by missing this final test.” She placed a booklet on his desk.

  “I wouldn’t miss this for anything.” He glared at her. “Have to put a period on things, right?”

  She ignored his comment and went back to her desk to get the exam. “You’ll have the full two hours and forty-five minutes to take the test. There is no talking. Be sure cell phones and all other electronic devices are off or on silen
t. I don’t even want to hear them vibrate.”

  Clicks, whistles, beeps and tinkling little songs sounded after her announcement as students turned off their devices. Ava watched Troy. He never moved. Either Troy already had his phone off, he didn’t have it with him or he just didn’t care anymore.

  She hoped it wasn’t the latter choice. “You may begin.”

  Although she tried not to, Ava couldn’t help but stare at Troy as he took his test. He kept his head down the whole time, concentrating hard. She’d watched him when he’d taken her other exams and usually he licked the side of his mouth throughout the test. Even though they didn’t explore fooling around more in her office again, it didn’t keep her from imagining his mouth on her again, exploring her sexual core with his long, masterful tongue.

  She crossed her legs as she sat behind her desk. This would be the longest three hours of her life.

  * * * *

  Ava split her attention between the two remaining students in her class; one was Troy. He lifted his head one time to glance around the classroom, assess the situation. When he noticed the other student sitting in the back, Troy returned his attention to his test booklet, making it obvious he wanted to be the last one to leave, the last one to capture Ava’s attention. Knowing that he wanted to talk to her kicked up a fluttering feeling in her midsection.

  Ava glanced at her watch. “Time, gentlemen. Pens down and bring your tests to me.” She stood and waited for the men to hand them their papers. The one in the back of the class stood first. He raced to the front and handed her the blue booklet. The young man mumbled something about the test being harder than he imagined.

  When he disappeared, she brought her attention to Troy. He rose from his chair and slung his backpack over one shoulder. As much as she tried to fight it, Ava couldn’t help but notice how wonderful he looked in his jeans and white t-shirt.

  Beyond her control, she licked her lips. The motion halted his trek for a moment. Rendering him motionless even for a split second concerned her. He had to let her go. She’d done the same for him…almost.

  Troy handed his test to her.

  “Thank you.” Ava stuffed all of the tests into her briefcase. “Results will be posted within three days.”

  An uncomfortable silence lingered between them.

  “For what it’s worth,” he began, “I enjoyed your class.”

  “And you were a great student. Engaging.” She smoothed her hand over her hair. “A professor’s dream.” She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry nothing else could work out for us.”

  “Funny about ethics to some people.” He adjusted his bag on his shoulder. “It’s a lot like religion. You adjust what’s right and wrong based on how it suits you.”

  “Troy, I—”

  “I never lied to you. I’m not who you think I am. I told the truth at the party. I run a contracting business. I’m going to school to become a teacher. And, again, I lose a woman over trust issues.”

  Even if Ava wanted to argue his claim, she couldn’t at the moment. Her throat closed so tight, not even air would pass. Her itchy eyes focused long enough to watch him walk away. As soon as he disappeared from sight, she collapsed in her chair.

  For the second time in a matter of months, Ava lost her man. The first one wasn’t worth pining over. But Troy, just as he said before, was exceptional. He made her think and feel differently. What the hell would she do now?

  Chapter Twelve

  Ava raised her fist to knock on Troy’s door for the fourth time. What would he do when he saw her a week after taking his exam? She swallowed and steeled her nerves to knock on the door.

  She rapped softly, then with more force. Within a few seconds, his door opened. Standing on the other side was an attractive man Ava had never seen before. His clothes looked like something her male students would wear, but his face had a maturity to it, evident by the lines around his eyes and on his forehead.

  “Yeah, hotness?” he said to her.

  “I’m looking for Troy Whitten. Is he home?” She tried peering over his shoulder and around him but the man blocked the doorway.

  “Maybe. Who’s asking?” He raised his eyebrows. “Are you the woman who’s been giving my man the fits lately?”

  “What?”

  A hard shove from behind him knocked the man out of the doorway. Behind him now stood Troy.

  He stared at her for a second before speaking. “What are you doing here?”

  “I thought I would bring over your graded exam. Of course you passed with flying colors.” Ava handed him his test booklet with a large, red letter “A+” on the cover. “I especially enjoyed your essay on the ethics in prostitution, how hypocritical lawmakers are in how they’ll allow people to sell their bodily organs or be a surrogate and carry another woman’s baby, but not sell their body for pleasure. You would make a great lawyer.”

  “I have no designs on law. I want to be a teacher.” His stoic expression clearly conveyed his intent.

  Deep in her heart, she knew he told her the truth about wanting to become a teacher. She saw the same genuine desire in his eyes to teach that she had before becoming a professor. That connection drew her to him and made her miss him every day.

  “I know.” She stepped into his house. When he didn’t block her or ask her to leave, she decided to press her luck and go for a more physical connection. “I think it’s great.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “And I’m keeping my promise. You passed my course. Now we can go out, that’s if you’ll still have me.”

  Troy stared at her for a moment, leaving his arms dangling by his sides. When he didn’t move, Ava decided she needed to stop making a fool of herself and leave. He obviously no longer desired her like she wanted him.

  Ava started to release her hold on him when Troy swept her up into his arms and swung her around the room. “You do not know how much I wanted to hear that from you.” He set her down and stared directly into her eyes. “Are you sure?”

  Ava nodded.

  With one hand around her waist and the other behind her head, he smothered her in a breathtaking kiss. Her heart soared. The longer she stayed away from Troy, the more miserable she’d become until her misery turned into something physical and she felt nauseous.

  Denying herself happiness made no sense. She could make a relationship work with Troy. She’d managed to be with Anson for a while before finally ending the union due to his lack of commitment.

  Troy matched sexual intensity with Richard, but Troy had passion. He cared for Ava, a feeling Ava never had with Richard.

  Troy pushed Ava into agreeing to have more of a commitment. That desire alone topped Anson’s lack of passion.

  By her assessment, Troy bested both men in every way. Why was she fighting being with him? Well, there was one thing. With what Ava tolerated in the past, his profession was the least of her worries, especially since he had a nobler, ultimate goal for his future.

  As long as she had her man, nothing else mattered—not the job, not work, nothing.

  “Whoa, you two need to get a room or something.”

  She turned to the man behind her who had just spoken, the same one who’d answered the door.

  “Have you forgotten that this is my house?” Troy wrapped his arm around her waist then kissed her temple.

  “Fine, I’ll go. It’s just good to see you serious with someone again.” Troy’s friend stared at her. “And she is a fox.”

  “Hey, easy now.” Troy squeezed a possessive arm around her.

  “I’m glad we’ve settled our issues.” Ava held him around his waist. “I could care less what he does for a living, so long as he brings all of his loving home to me.” She craned her head up to kiss him but felt resistance when Troy put his hands on her shoulders to push her back and leaned his head away from her.

  “Wait. What do you mean? You don’t like contractors now?” he asked.

  She laughed, accompanying it with a snort. “No.” She split her gaze between T
roy and his friend. “You know. The other thing you do.”

  “Dude, you introduced her to your other side? Way to go.” Troy’s friend held his hand in the air to give Troy a high five, but Troy kept his full concentration on Ava.

  “I did, but I don’t think she’s talking about that, are you?” Troy regarded her for a moment before an idea hit him. Troy removed her arms from around him. “You still think I’m an escort, don’t you?”

  “I don’t care, Troy. I know you’re a good man. I can learn to accept whatever it is that you do.”

  “You think he’s an escort?” Troy’s friend covered his mouth like he wanted to suppress a smile or laugh.

  Troy let her go and walked to his door. “If you still don’t believe me, there really is nothing between us.” He kept his head down, only connecting his gaze with hers when she didn’t move. “Please leave.”

  Ava’s insides dropped to the floor. Her heart must have stopped at some point, but her feet propelled her to the door. To be ejected from his life, his heart, hurt more than she imagined. Without a word, she walked out, left the only man who stimulated her, mind, body and soul.

  * * * *

  “Dude, she was willing to accept you even though she thinks you get paid to take women out. And she’s hot. Why would you give her up?” Gross scratched his head.

  “It’s like the reverse of Meredith. Meredith thought I was cheating on her when I wasn’t. Now Ava thinks I’m an escort and she won’t believe me when I tell her the truth. I can’t deal with that. If I’m going to be with someone, she has to trust me. She has to believe me.” Troy sat behind his desk and stared through his window into his empty backyard. “And I am not an escort. My one and only date just walked out.”

  “You are so full of it. We all lie. We all believe something that’s not true. I tell women I’m in my thirties. So what? Some of them tell me they’re single and hide their wedding rings when they think I’m not looking. You probably believe something about her that’s not necessarily true. Maybe she’s not as together as you think.”